The Balance

I had my first Local School Council meeting yesterday…the first one as an elected board member.  It was long, over two hours, and it brought a dilemma back into my life that had all but vanished over the summer. With only so many waking hours in a day, how do I best serve my children when it comes to their education? I’m not talking about how to balance parenting with work, exercise and the myth called “date night”.  I’m talking strictly education.  Of all the things I could be doing to assist my children in having the best education possible, where is the best place for me to put my time and energy?

When my son entered school a few years ago, my time was best served by filling out a dozen or so forms to get him into the magnet school lottery.  At that time, along with my five year old, I had a two year old and was pregnant with my third.  I was a hormonal nut.  I was sure that I was going to send my eldest either down the path to glory, or the path to doom, based on where he attended kindergarten. The time spent regarding education was clear-cut. I was to bone up on area schools, fill out applications and pick the lesser of the evils. I came up empty with the lottery and so enrolled my son in a cluster magnet school, which seemed a little better than my neighborhood school, and a lot cheaper than private. I vowed to play the lottery again and continue to keep my ear to the ground for information which would lead me to a really terrific educational experience for my son, daughter and at that time, the unborn TBA. Four years later, we are still at that same school.  The TBA was another daughter.

Once my son was in school I very quickly became aware of how much fund raising was needed to augment the CPS dole.  Over the years my son’s school has raised money to fund a music teacher, an ecology program and to purchase equipment.  Parents have been asked to pay a registration fee, pay for full time kindergarten, support an auction and make monthly “pledges” to keep an influx of money into the school.  If I wanted my children to have more than just the stripped down basic CPS fare, if I wanted them to have art, music, ecology etc. my time would be best spent helping get money into the school.  So, I helped with grant writing, pledge drives and other fundraisers.  When it came to bettering my children’s education, fund raising seemed to be the best use of my time and energy, and so along with keeping a finger on the pulse of CPS schools, I was now, fund raising for one of them.

Enter the time and energy sucker called Homework.   Just as I really did not grasp how painful back labor was until I had experienced it myself, so I did not really understand the universal cringing I saw parents make when the topic of homework would come up.  I get it now.  At least with the back labor I had an epidural. For really bad homework nights, I have to hope somewhere in my fridge is a bottle of Three Buck Chuck.  I personally know a few parents who’s kids work alone, who willingly get homework out of the way as soon as they come home from school and who’s legs swing happily under the table as they do their nightly assignments.  I’m here to tell you, it ain’t me babe.  My kids are bright and get good grades, but would rather do just about anything but homework. So begins the struggle.  It’s a great theory to say, “let your kid do their homework themselves”, but it does not always work in practical application.  If your child cannot yet sound out all the words to the directions, you have to help him.  If they cannot extrapolate what makes Frog and Toad such good friends, you need to guide them to the passages that reveal that answer. Sometimes you just need to calm them down and say, “you are right, this is no fun, but it has to be done.”  So most evenings, the best way for me to help my children with their education is to provide support during homework.

Someone recently said to me “having children in CPS means having to reevaluate every year their education”.  I find this true.  While making the most of the CPS school their kids are in, many parents still play the lottery, still get their kids tested for “gifted” programs, still wonder if private is the way to go.  So, I am always evaluating if my kids are at the right school for them. I am still working on getting money into the school to purchase additional programs, and I am still helping with homework.  I think I am doing all I can in the area of education, but then Raise Your Hand enters into the picture.

Thirty-seven kids in a classroom? Huge budget and program cuts? The priority for my children’s education last spring was certainly to support Raise Your Hand and the crisis’ they were addressing.   I attended Raise Your Hand rallies, dragging my protesting kids to each one….that would be me they were protesting, not state funding.  We stormed Mayor Daley’s office, which was fun, until someone had to pee. I used part of my day yesterday to call ward offices to find out which CPS schools are in which wards...not neighborhoods, wards. This is going to be a huge election year with offices being filled on the aldermanic, mayoral and gubernatorial levels.  Where do all of these candidates stand on their educational views and policies? I feel, that this is an important use of my time, and will, in the long run, benefit my children’s education.

So brings me to my LSC meeting last night, where among other things, we discussed how bilingual classrooms are being cut, how we now have solar panels on our roof and the questionable wardrobe of a certain substitute teacher.   Again, last spring, I thought my serving on this board would be beneficial to my children’s educational experience.  Just as I think fund raising is important, just as I think homework is important, just as I think federal, state and municipal education policy is important, equally important is helping my children’s school by being a part of it’s Local School Council.  But the meeting was way over two hours and unlike those I attended as “just” a parent, I could not walk out of this one now that I hold a board position

I came home late with my three kids to face what to make for dinner, (canned chili), three sets of school forms to fill out, (I forged my kids signature’s on the Code of Conduct), school picture package options  (relieved that checks were an acceptable form of payment this year) and yes….homework.  Both of my older kids were having trouble so I needed to go between the two, each one equally convinced that their homework was harder.  My preschooler does not have homework yet, but does want to show me the picture she drew and perform the song she learned.  I do have a husband….somewhere. That’s not really fair.  He is willing to help but is not clued into the the vernacular of Trail Blazers and Storytown so often needs old school translating before he can assist.  Which leaves my kids wailing, “I want youuuuuu, Mom”.

Which brings me back around to my point.  When it comes to my children’s education, where is my time best spent? Could I have prepared a more nutritious dinner in advance had I not been calling ward offices?  Could I have eliminated two tons of stress and several Kleenex’s worth of tears if I were home to actually help with the homework rather than discussing the broader issues of my kid’s school?  If I were forced to pick just one area to hopefully make a difference, it would be homework.  It allows me to see what my kids are doing, the materials they are using, and the methods their teachers are employing and most importantly, how my kids think, problem solve, create and learn.  However, I’m not forced to choose. I have options and opportunities to do more and there in lies the dilemma.   I can be involved in fund raising, I can be on the LSC, I can speak at rallies, sign petitions, attend budget meetings.  Just as having a child in CPS means every year having to reevaluate their education, so having a child in CPS means every day asking “what needs to be done NOW, to make CPS work for my kids?” because, that need changes every day.  Some days a large group of vocal parents are needed outside our mayor’s office.  Some days you need to stand up and speak at a meeting.  Some days you need to assure your nine year old that at some point he will understand multiplication.  It all feels necessary at the moment, and yet the road not taken, the meeting unattended, the spelling left unchecked, the grant not written, vies for my attention even as do my three kids.

So I have resigned myself to the fact that I have fifteen years of education advocacy in my future. Fifteen years of attending meetings, raising money, and yes, fifteen more years of homework. So if I’m eating canned chili in order to assist in defining vertical and horizontal axis, if I am writing monthly “pledges” to financially augment my children’s “free” school, if I am staying awake nights ruminating over whether or not I am doing the right thing by my children’s education you can damn well bet I am turning to my elected officials, patting the seat next to me and saying “Sit right here next to me honey. You are going to help me with this.  Tell me, just what have you done for education,…‘cause I’m doing an awful lot ”.